347. My first Christmas Tree

I'm got my first Christmas tree this year. It's about four feet high. It's plastic and it came with a string of lights already around it. I originally didn't care if i had a tree in my apartment this year, but my mom was probably looking to get it out of the house, so she insisted i take it. The tree used to belong to my grandmother. It feels good to have it up in my house. It sort of reminds me of her. However, I think she was a better decorator, or it just seemed to fit in her apartment a little bit better than mine.

I have 13 ornaments hanging from the tree at the moment. I received most of those ornaments from my godparents. They gave them to me as Christmas presents (or were the birthday presents?) at various points through my life up until I was 18. My mom was hanging on to those as well. I suppose it's good that I take those. All of the ornaments are either silver or pewter. My personal favorites were a toy solider, a train, and a wreath that says the "Joy" in the middle of it. I had other kinds like bells and even an eagle, but those few other ones mean a lot to me as well.

I have a few other types of ornaments on the tree. One of them is an aluminum basketball. I don't know where I got that one. It must have been after I started playing basketball as an elementary school student. I also have a clay model of the U.S. Supreme Court. I must have gotten that one in Washington D.C. after we visited when I was in elementary school. It feels more pertinent now this year. I really like it.

I haven't felt this good about Christmas in a while. I usually just want it to be over and I don't pay attention to much of all the hullabaloo around it. I tried to care this year. I wrote Christmas cards, I went and saw a Muppet Christmas Carol, and I decorated my own tree. I've also tried to play the anticipation game. There are a lot of variances on the theme of "the waiting is actually the best part." I've heard that for so many years, but I think this is the first year that I actually believe it. It's felt good to just be in the moment and knowing things aren't going to happen for a while.

I'm really glad that I've picked up on that. I'm not really focused on the end goal of the presents. Heck, I haven't even told my parents what I want for Christmas. I'm just trying to enjoy the little magic parts of this month: the snow, the music, the Salvation Army Kettles, and the general appreciation that people seem to hold on to during this time of year. After as dumb of a year as it was, it's only worth it to hold on to all the little joys you can.